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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

A letter to the DIY fairy

Dear DIY Fairy

Please help my husband. I (sillily) accused him of not being able to multi-task, and now he's gone multi-tasking daft. He has the bit of wall (what we call 'ground zero') down, but not all. He has most of the white tiles grouted, but not all. He has cleaned off the grout from some of the grouted white tiles, but not all. He has fastened most battens (for the cladding) onto the wall, but not all. He is now taking the floor up (as asked to by the plumber), but not all. And he's doing it using a HAND SAW. If I enter the room and cheerily ask "done that little job?" or offer suggestions (like "shall we get in a man?") or assistance, then he barks at me, so I retreat to other rooms, all of which are hovels, containing a multitude of bathroom bits, tools, pieces of wood, nails - and several inches of oak leaves in the kitchen. What is complete is the grouting of the travertine tiles and the cleaning up of the same (I did both jobs). If I could get to the windows, I would measure them up for voiles. If I could get to the toilet, I'd make myself a cup of tea ...
Yours desperately,


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